The holidays are over

My holidays got all topsy-turvy early. Because I was put on the Hoyer in November. Thanksgiving felt funny and I didn't eat with other residents as I had at my previous facility. When the Hoyer lift broke in December things got really messed up. Without enough Hoyer pads, I was never sure what day I would be up and for how long.

The facility ordered new pads but they did not get here until after Christmas. I have no idea what they ordered or if any of them are the U-shaped pads but I prefer they use. In December I missed out on two outings with friends, because of the lack of Hoyer pads to get me up and ready. That made me feel like I wasn't in control of my life at all.

I enjoy going out before and after Christmas every year. I guess I've been lucky that I've been able to do it. I also miss my sister whose now in Florida and not 50 miles away where I can call her and she can possibly just drop in. That makes me feel kind of adrift, and all alone.

I've been in my room a lot and hiding away from everyone. But being in bed is the only way I could be sure I can lie down when I'm tired and need to.

I've also had sore throat since a week before Christmas. That had me dragging.

I like to plan and planning has not been happening much lately. I've been a planner all my life and lots of my plans never came to fruition. But, at least I was prepared for just about every occurrence.

I'm kind of glad the holidays are over. I don't have to pretend to feel happy when I'm not. I don't feel like I've blended in here very well. But being without the proper equipment to lift me and move me between bed and power chair caused me to feel more of an outcast.

I think some aides here think I should just trust them to do what I need and not worry about it. But it's very difficult for me to do. I've been through a lot and I know they just don't realize it.

Perhaps in the new year I will be able to find the things that eluded me during the holidays.