4:30 AM – 20 minute wait – for help

I was awake from 4 AM on. But I decided to wait until 4:30 a.m. to put my call light on. The nurses and aides are used to this because I've been doing it for years. It's not that I want to get up then. But I usually need to move after six or seven hours of sleep. I don't like them to wake me on night shift bed checks, like they do at most nursing homes. I told them not to come in unless my call light is on. Most of the time they respect that.

I put the call light on this morning. When the nurse did not come in right away with my fiber supplement and Synthroid (hypothyroidism hormone), I thought something must be going on. But I know most of the nurses and aides smoke. They have to smoke outside somewhere near the smoke shack. Because it's still wintertime, they probably sit in the smoke shack. It's not warm there but it should be dry. I can understand them wanting to be outside, smoking and being social, as opposed to being in here with all of us. But it would be better to take turns. That way one of them could keep an eye on the call light board to see if a resident needs assistance.

Five minutes later when no one came in my door, I was almost relieved. I thought I'd just snooze while I was waiting for them. But after a couple of more minutes, I wondered what was going on. I wear earplugs to keep out the noise that would keep me awake. But, that means there are things I miss out on. I wondered if something was going on that I could not hear.

Ten minutes after I put the call light on, I was getting resigned to the fact that they probably were going to be late getting to me. I thought they might be showering a resident, needed another aide's help, and neither of them could get away. That leaves the nurse. I always think she could come, if she's available, and not smoking.

Fifteen minutes after I put the call light on, I started to wonder if a resident was ill and had to be sent out. I didn't really wonder if a resident was dying. At least no resident appeared to be near death yesterday. But, that  doesn't mean anything. Since there was nothing else I could do, I tried to relax. Sometimes I pray to relieve anxiety. It's harder to be anxious when my mind is busy.

Twenty minutes after I put my call light on, my door opened. Two aides came in followed by the nurse. She gave me my fiber and Synthroid and promptly left.

Then I got to use the bedpan and was repositioned so I was more comfortable.

I don't know if I said anything to the aides like, "Where were you?". If I said that, they would become defensive. Sometimes I ask if they are okay. It may sound dumb to the uninitiated person hearing it, but it makes them feel less ruffled than if I ask why they are tardy. Sometimes, when they're late, I wonder if they wondered if I was okay. If there was another situation they could not get away from, probably not.

Though I wonder why it took them so long, if I ask, because of HIPPA, they say they're not allowed to tell me.