Uncomfortable situation

I know that some of the aides here enjoy upheaval and controversy. The like the excitement when residents act out, or act up. I think that's one reason some of them have this type of job.

Today was a case in point: There were men working on repairing the back dining room doors, where I usually eat lunch.

"J", my aide told me I would have to sit at a table elsewhere. She said there were two in the front lobby. She also said there was a curved table in the back dining room where a female resident named "S" was sitting. When she asked if I wanted to sit with "S", I said I would.

For some reason, my aide got me late and when I arrived at the dining room, it was pretty full. I didn't even know if I could get to that table without making people get up from where they were sitting to allow me to get through. But I I made it.

I noticed I did not get to sit right beside S, as promised. I should have asked why. But I didn't.

A few minutes later a male resident, I'll call "D" came in and sat down beside me. Right away, quietly, I asked my aide if I could move. I'm never that close to D who's always unkempt with his long hair hanging. Many times, when I passed him on the hallway I smelled body odor.

My power chair was off so I could not easily back up and discreetly explain to "J" why I did not want to sit beside D. Although, I know she knew. The aides frequently talk about how disheveled "D" is.

So, I tried to tell "J" quietly that I was afraid his appearance and odor might not allow me to eat lunch. I said I'd return to my room, if I could not move. Then, "J" said I could move. In retrospect, I wish I had left, or asked to speak to my nurse about the situation. It would have been better done in the front lobby. But thinking that "J" was supposed to stay in the dining room, I asked to move to the right corner of the table.

"J" acted like I was totally rude and uncaring. You'd have thought I'd said loudly that "D" smelled like a skunk, which I didn't. When I moved to that spot, a male resident behind me about had a hissy fit. He said I did not get out of his way fast enough. I told him to give me a minute and I moved away from him a bit.

Then, "J" kept telling me she could not believe that I would say such a thing and make "D" feel badly. "J" even patted "D" on the shoulder and said, it was okay. I don't even know if he heard what I said.

As I ate my meal pretty much in silence. I realized I had been maneuvered. I think they set this little scenario up knowing ahead of time that I would not want to sit where I was uncomfortable. It's unfortunate that they would not allow me to be more discreet about moving away.