Getting over this morning

Somehow, I thought today would be better. After all I got to get up around 7 AM for the second day, which I consider to be a victory. That means there's some toileting regularity in my care plan.

Unfortunately, an aide wanted to dress me without washing me. I refused. I told her I wanted to be washed up first. Maybe I should have made a deal about going to the dining room unwashed in something like my gown and a T-shirt, but I didn't.

Then, another aide showed up and another. They started to sort of wash me in this room's very tiny bathroom. I asked if they wanted to take me out in the room to wash me. I heard a man's voice/the administrator  admonishing me to allow the aides to get me together for the day. I felt like a four-year-old who is no longer trusted to take their bath correctly. I was very upset and protested that I was being assaulted against my will. I felt that way because I was being hurried along. I know how to help someone get me done faster. But the way they were doing it was frightening me.

I asked to be left in the bathroom and I was. They must've gone to the dining room to feed residents, and they did not come back. I stayed in the bathroom until two aides came back. One combed my hair and the other brought my breakfast tray. They brought a tray that had been sitting around with dry toast on it. An aide fixed me two cups of tea. The aide fed me a piece of toast with peanut butter. But then, she said she had other things to do and there was no more time for me. I missed out on my second cup of tea, and the Cheerios. It's almost like the aides were timing me and all of a sudden ran out of their designated time for me.

With that, the aide left. I was positioned where I could not see a clock, or watch TV. I couldn't even operate my power chair because no one put my hand near the joystick.

I just sat there and waited. Eventually, a different aide came in and brushed my teeth and put cream on my face. All my a.m. care had been finished. Not allowing for the time it took to feed me, I don't think they spent thirty minutes getting me ready this morning.

I've asked why this facility can't accommodate and do most of what I want. I just want to be up and clean each day either with a shower or a washup. I also want to be able to get on my computer and do my writing like I've been doing.

I hope somewhere in the hearts of those who manage this facility they can find a way for that to happen. I don't want to have to move elsewhere hoping to find the care everyone says is impossible to find.