Today wasn't any better

Today it was not the best of days. Yesterday, I heard today was a problem because there was no shower aide scheduled. I wondered why. I thought that meant probably no shower for me.

I found out when I could not get my suppository anytime before or right after 7 AM. They said they had to ask the aides when they could got me up. They told me later they were waiting for an aide to come in.

The nurse brought me a breakfast tray. But as soon as I told her I needed to be fed, she left and left the tray. I objected strongly to anybody leaving food in my room. I just don't think that should be done to someone who cannot feed herself.

I did finally get breakfast. I was not allowed to get up. My suppositories were not given until after 10 AM. I knew this wasn't good for my getting washed up  timeline. But, I was already told I would get no shower today.

I did get up but I was way too upset to get washed up. They wanted to move it right along and I wanted to feel warm water over my skin, which was not going to happen. Therefore I got my hands and face washed and went back to bed. I just did not want to deal with rushed caregivers today.

This afternoon there was a meeting with the powers that be. They're trying to decide on a schedule. But they still want to know if I want just one on one care. That's not the issue. The issue is doing what I need and getting me up. I also would like to do what I want to do during the day which is use my computer and do my reading and writing.

I'm not sure anybody understands my situation any better. Things are just way too nebulous here. They are like that in most nursing homes. But this one really needs to change things in order to make me feel better about being here. Yes, the people are nice and the environment outside and inside is better. But, care can be given in a barn, as long as it's done well.