A better day – not sure

There was all kinds of hell, havoc, and hassle about my shower this morning. We just didn't have with right aide here to do the magic trick of getting me up quicker with the Hoyer. So, the slow process ensued and slowness bothers me. I guess it's because at home I always got challenged when I was slow. My father did not like slowness because he felt being slow was like being lazy.

So we were playing catch up all morning. I said I wanted to stop using the Hoyer lift. And I got such a look from one of the aides.

I actually got stuck (bare behind to shower chair seat) and I was stuck fast. When the aides used the Hoyer to lift me, it lifted the shower chair because it was stuck to me. I told the aides to go ahead and lift me because the shower chair would drop – and it did.

Later, after breakfast Ms. L the therapy manager came in to see how well I could stand. She brought a gait belt which I hate because they always end up at my armpits. I've also had a mastectomy on the right side so it doesn't feel the greatest. But it was necessary so the lifters would feel more comfortable.

I was sitting slightly askew so I told Ms. L that we would have to be careful. She did it very slowly and showed the aides how to lift me. She told them to be careful of my shoulders and to try not to jerk me. (I wonder if this is because I had reported that one of the aides jerks hard on my shoulders and the others don't.) I guess we will find out over time.

I was a bit anxious because I wondered if my legs would feel weak. I haven't stood by myself with someone holding on for over a week. When you don't use it, you lose it.

But I was able to stand pretty well and did not feel like I was trembling at all. I was also surprised that I was not lightheaded.

Ms. L said she will work with me each day (I don't know how many days) to make sure I am standing safely and well.

I did tell her that I was, at times, bending and straightening my knees in order to move and also out of frustration. She said she was surprised I said that. I told her it happened and I have to acknowledge it. I said I would try not to do that again so that I will not frighten anyone or make them uneasy. Standing is that important.

She said it may be a couple of weeks before I'm off the Hoyer, or it could take a month. She said, at this point she is just not sure.

But I was awfully grateful to stand up. Even though my next transfer was done with the Hoyer.