Past and present Memorial Day weekends

Sometimes I sit and try to remember what Memorial Day weekends were like before I moved to a nursing home. I do know  when I lived in my condo with private caregivers, holidays were spent with Carolyn, my caregiver. She knew I did not like to spend holidays alone. She also knew that my sister seldom was able to visit me on or near the holiday. So, we struck a bargain. Carolyn said if I would allow her to take me to her family's celebration, she would consider it a family day and not charge me. So, Carolyn invited me to come to her home or wherever her family gathered on almost every holiday. I always appreciated Carolyn's kindness in the ten years she worked for me.

Before that, I spent holidays with neighbors, my sister, and sometimes I spent parts of them by myself. Memorial Day does not stick out. I can't say that our family had any Memorial Day ritual like planting flowers at relatives' graves in the cemetery. Since we lived 200 miles away from my parents' relatives' graves, there could be no ritual.

I also know we usually waited until after Memorial Day to buy annuals to plant in the yard. We did that so we could get them at a lower price.

For many years we traveled to Western Pennsylvania on holidays to visit my mom's and my dad's relatives. But, I doubt we went on Memorial Day because school would have still been in session. The last few weeks of school were filled with many events which would have interfered. So, I'm sure we waited until school was out. If our first trip was not the first free weekend in June, then we probably went to Pennsylvania for Father's Day or the Fourth of July.

After my sister went to college and then moved out on her own, our Memorial days became routine. Dad usually played golf on Memorial Day weekend. If my sister visited, there would be anticipation and excitement with her around. Otherwise, it would be mom and I watching whatever was on TV, even sports, until dad came home from golfing.

I'd like to think that it was more interesting and less lonely back then, but I don't really think it was. I know I watched baseball to stay involved in things. I also watched golf, tennis matches, and any other thing that would hold my interest. Even when I lived with mom and dad, there was always the loneliness struggle against my thoughts of, "You should really be with your peers today". So I got involved with something and stayed interested in it.

In nursing homes, there is excitement before Memorial Day since it is the first summer holiday. The staff seem to be excited with the possibility of a cookout, or doing or seeing someone special. I miss those days although I realize they did not happen as much as I once thought. During my growing up years, Memorial Day was a harbinger of the upcoming joy of summer vacation. Passing summer's first holiday made me anxious to spend those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer at the pool.

Today (Friday before Memorial Day) was the nursing home's annual summer picnic at the park. In the five years of this event, it has been in June or July. I wondered why it was earlier this year. I don't go because the grass at the park is usually muddy and traversing it in a 300 pound power chair (without me in it) could be hazardous all by itself. Besides, I do not like to fight the flies for my food.

So for lunch those of us residents who did not go to the picnic, the same food was served. The difference was the hamburgers and hotdogs for us stay behinds were not grilled.

This year 11 or 12 residents out of 48 decided not to participate.