Not a victory today but a baby step

The meeting was today with everyone from the administrator, and the nurse manager to my friend R and me.

I got the drift that the nurse manager and therapy were not really considering letting me stand to transfer anytime soon. It was pretty plain that they want me to use the Hoyer because they feel it's safer for me  and the aides. Roberta/nurse manager stated that I complained about feeling hurt after being lifted with aides putting an arm under each of mine to stand me. When she said that, I felt like I was being punished because I noted some aides pull on me harder than others.

Roberta/nurse manager said that it's not safe for me to bend and straighten my knees while I'm standing to transfer. She said it alarms the aides. I told them I bent and straightened my knees twice a month ago because I was frustrated from waiting to go to the bathroom. Roberta wanted assurances that I would not do it again. I don't know exactly how I could do that.

My friend R brought up that she googled and found a different type of gait belt. It goes around the waist and around the thighs so that it cannot pull up like a conventional gait belt. It sounded like mountain climbing equipment to me and probably is something someone adapted from it. I did not see it but the nursing home is going to consider it. That way the aides will have a handhold. They will not have to grab a gait belt that has slid up under my armpits.

It was kind of funny that the therapist was reluctant to state that I am "pear-shaped". I told her that was not a revelation. I know I am pear-shaped because I have been that way pretty much ever since I moved to a nursing home. I don't stand or move as much. My weight was moved down by gravity resulting in more weight from mid torso down.

It just seemed for a while that Roberta/nurse manager wanted to argue with R and me. It was like a fencing dual. And no one was making contact – just flinging the fencing sword around.

I was kind of forced to take over things and ask questions. I said the only time we really learn anything in life is when we do it wrong or make a mistake. I told them I have been dropped by an aide in the hospital using a Hoyer. That has caused me to be very careful about Hoyer use.

I said we needed to look at potential gait belts and Hoyer pads for future use by me. I noted I am not getting any younger and even if we can find a suitable gait belt and stave off Hoyer use presently. I know there will be a time when a Hoyer may be necessary. That let them know I had considered it.

I said I thought we should check out other Hoyer pads which are more comfortable and easier to use. That is something that both me as resident and the staff should have in their favor. Nursing home patient equipment is very generic. They do not necessarily consider individual resident needs and how the generic equipment will fit in. Residents and staff should be considered when equipment is purchased. It should be economical, functional and fit the needs of most every resident.

Nursing homes used to buy generic wheelchairs. One size was supposed to fit most. Now they are measured to particular residents. But, there are still a few generic chairs to get them by until they can more closely define a resident's needs.

There was no large victory today but I think maybe diplomacy took place. All my friend and I wanted were people with open minds who would listen.

I'm hoping that those who attended, and who did not completely agree might have a bit more understanding of me now.