Day 3 – after hearing decision

Last night was a dastardly one for a gentle sleep. Maybe it's because I ate dietary's Italian sausage on bun and three waffle fries. Whatever it was that caused it, I had an awful dream. I was myself (disabled) and out with my friend Angela. We were at this long ago motel restaurant in our hometown. I was talking away and all of a sudden I looked up and Angela was gone.

While I was looking for her, I ran into another, more recent friend, and was quite upset by his appearance. Mike's a lanky 6'4" guy who's on the slim side. But, in the dream, he looked like he had gained 20 or 30 pounds. His face was round and he was pudgy. Mike has had heart trouble and I was immediately concerned. I started giving him a sermonette about getting back into shape and off the steroids that were fattening him up. I was so engrossed in the conversation with him, that I forgot about Angela.

Then, I suddenly moved away from Mike with a faceless, nameless person I couldn't see and was not conscious of. We were in to a larger city. It looked like New York City. But, since I'm from Ohio, I thought it was Columbus. We were going down the street and I could not see who my companion was. Suddenly, someone yelled, Drive-By Shooting. I could not move. Even though I was frozen in place in a power chair, the four bullets from the gun missed me. I was very frightened when they whizzed by. It felt so realistic. I wonder where my brain got those images that looked so real . I have never been shot at. I have watched movies and TV shows where actors were. But, I still have such a realistic view of that dream, even now.

I woke up breathing hard and my heart was beating wildly. I was also really out of it. It might've been an apnea episode since I felt lightheaded and dizzy. I could very easily have dropped back off to sleep. But, I needed to stay awake, because I get medicine every morning at 4:30 am.

Compared to last night's dream, today was mild. There was no brass here on this almost the end of August summer day. It was a bit chilly out, though sunny. I would have liked to have been out in it sitting in the sun, getting brown, and feeling the sun's hug.

I've done little today. I added a few obvious things to the moving "do something with" list. Early this morning, I remembered I have a (never been used) foam medical mattress, in the basement. It came with my medical bed four years ago. I need to decide what to do with it and also whether I'm taking my bedside commode with me.

It's amazing how difficult it is to make a list of my possessions. Perhaps we should all keep a list. Then, when we get rid of something, we can scratch it off. It might be wise to pull it out every time we think we want some new thing to put in our living space.

Suffice it to say, that my mood is probably the same as the tumultuous one in last night's bad dream.