Not the hearing decision I wanted

I got the news this morning. It wasn't totally unexpected. But, I was really hoping that I would prevail at the hearing. There is an appeals process after this, but it's kind of complicated. It involves going to court. I would have to file for indigent status so that I can get a public defender. Then, there's a lot of paper signing and notarizing to be done. A judge would decide whether I would get a public defender. I don't even know if it would stop me from moving. So, I do have to consider the move.

I did reach out to the other nursing home which is about thirty miles away. I don't really want to go there. But I may have to. Sometimes I feel it's not really safe here. I think they're trying hard to get rid of me and I think they've lost all objectivity about it. I do not want to say that they are frightening me unnecessarily, but that's happening.

I have to figure out what I actually have here that I need to get rid of and then do it. I've been trying for years but I think that's part of the system. Keep you wanting and keep you where you are. When they get the idea that you have the wanderlust, they want to try to stop it, until they don't. I guess they decided I'm a little bit too much trouble. I thought I was a good resident to have. I'm helpful, smart, and I have a lot of great ideas. But no one would want me as their nemesis, and I'm sure this facility doesn't either.

So, I'm calling on friends for spiritual support and prayers. It will take a lot of positive energy projected in the universe to help me make this transition. I don't think anybody realizes how hard it is to move to another nursing home. I think it must be a lot like being a prisoner of war. When I came here, I felt like I had no identity, except as a negative entity.

The only good thing about all of this is it gives me plenty of blog material. I can just write away about what happens to me. Yes, this happened almost seven years ago to the day. I got my first Involuntary Discharge Notice on August 18, 2010. I lost at the hearing and was out of that nursing home by September 24, 2010.

It felt like my whole world blew up. And, it no doubt did. But I also learned that I survived and learned how to thrive again. I've gone through a lot of injustice here and negligence, if not all out abuse, and I got through it. It's made me stronger and wiser.

I am determined to fight while I'm here to get what I think is necessary to have a productive life.

I think the only thing I need in life is a goal. Then, I just have to move hell to get to it.