After two months here, back on the Hoyer

I'm at a different facility with a more conventional nursing home population. That means there are more two assist residents here then at my second facility.

I wondered when I came here if they would let me do precarious transfers with just two aides assisting me. A couple of them felt comfortable enough to stand me by themselves, while the other did the maneuvering of chair and clothing. But they were in the minority. So, I endured unsteady transfers for just a little over two months.

In the last couple of days we've had a couple of close calls. I've almost hurt my right ankle by twisting it to stand out of bed, and they've almost dropped me. That surprises me because nothing like that occurred at my previous two nursing homes.

But the rules here seem to be hard and fast. One of the dayshift, as needed aides, doesn't like transferring me this way, and thinks I'm too much of a bother because of my wash up routine. So, I know she disapproves of me standing and has recommended the Hoyer. She thinks I don't care about her or the other aides, and whether they get hurt or not. That's not true. But I'm concerned about my well-being. Everything gets messed up when I have to use the Hoyer.

The director of nursing came in a little after 5 PM today to tell me I'm back on the Hoyer. She warned me a couple of days ago. I begged her not to put me back on that horrible, impersonal device. And she gave me a reprieve for a couple of days.

Earlier when I got into bed the aides were inexperienced and made a mistake, and if they had not been rescued, I would've fallen. The DON said I'm back on the Hoyer. Because of yesterday's incident. She says it's just for the weekend until physical therapy can evaluate my ability to stand. But, I'm not believing it.

I lost a lot of my ability when I moved to a nursing home. I ended up being placed where I'd be busy and not be a bother.

I'd like to just stop eating and drinking and die. But I'll still have to endure whatever happens here, until I'm not here anymore.

I put the call light on about twenty-five minutes ago because I decided to eat something, just a snack, like usual. But, since no one got here quickly, I wondered what's going on.

I found out when the nurse came in with an aide to answer my call light. A newer, mature aide was vomiting and had to go home. I don't know if we have even two aides for forty-two people right now.

The nurse told me I'll get a snack when an aide can feed me. I wonder how late that'll be.