Dudley, the male aide, thinks I'm a problem

I guess it shouldn't matter whether the male aide likes me or not. After all, I'm not here to win a popularity contest. I'm here to be taken care of and to try to have some type of meaningful life. Everyone, mostly my sister, thought this nursing home could provide a better environment.

I will call my aide Dudley, instead of using his name. The first weekend I was here I noticed how he strutted around like a banty rooster. I thought he was pretty impressed with himself and thought that meant he thought he was a good aide. I hoped he was good and would help the others.. I wanted to find aides here more capable than those at my previous facility.

Dudley was my aide for three out of the first four days after I came. I told him I would rather not have a male do my washup. But, I realized I was new here and had to go with the flow. If Dudley was good, he was also quiet, and hardly said anything.

I know I'm the one who probably did all the talking. I praised him a lot, because he was good. He got me washed up, to the bathroom and back. Then, my breakfast was on time and the tea was hot. The only thing I didn't like was the way he washed me without incentive. I expected a few difficulties. I was kind of nervous and probably put up with things that I wouldn't all the time. I thought maybe they decided Dudley was the one who should do me on my first morning here. It was kind of coordinated like it was supposed to make me feel welcome and comfortable.

But the next day was just god-awful. Dudley was not here and it was quite apparent. I had to work with different aides and for one reason or another things were out of sync. I did get ready for the day, but it was much later. I also got accused of keeping an aide in my room for three hours. Actually the occupational therapist washed me up that morning after I was left in the bathroom for over an hour. I felt awful because they thought I took up too much time. My morning routine would move along if the aide could expedite the process. But some aides have a hard time with that.

Dudley was also my aide on the first weekend. He got me ready on time. But I noticed he was rather sullen about doing my care. In the next four weeks he seldom was my aide. And when he was he complained that my washup took too long.

It's four weeks later and he acts like he no longer wants to come in my room. To me, he acts like taking care of me causes the little hairs on the back of his neck to stand up.

I wish I didn't feel I am somehow responsible poor his feelings about me. Nevertheless, it does bother me. Seeing him make a face makes me uncomfortable

I'd like everybody to be comfortable with me and I know not everybody is. I suppose I seem like I'm needy and greedy and went to much help to some.

But, I'd hope that Dudley can understand that being involuntarily discharged from your second nursing home is difficult.